To Vaccinate or Not!

Well, I always said that the H1N1 virus scared me so much that the day the vaccine became available, I would march my kids right down to get it. But, why was it so difficult when the vaccine came available? After researching the vaccine and 4 calls to our pediatrician's office my husband and I decided that we would vaccinate our kids yesterday at our counties first mass vaccination event. So, I picked the kids up from school swung over to the house to get the younger ones and we all traveled over to the mall to stand in line and wait 3 hours for something I ultimately don't agree with putting into my kids little bodies. So many of my friends are dead set against the vaccine, saying the H1N1 virus is mild and the kids will do fine. But, there are kids with complications and kids dying. 219 last week in the U.S. How can they say kids are fine. Most kids probably will be fine. The defining moment came when my sister-in-law and then shortly after my sister confirming that if this H1N1 had popped up 2-3 months before it would have been in the seasonal flu shot which I regularly give my kiddos. However, when we got into the vaccination clinic, I completely broke down. My poor husband had to basically handle it all while I sat in the phone with our pediatrician's office making sure that it would be safer to give the vaccine containing Thymerisol to my kids rather than not giving it all. They assured me it was a trace amount and that the kids would suffer no ill effect. But, I hate the fact that that was injected into the little bodies. I also hate that I had to vaccinate them for this. Which then lead to a sleepless night of checking them hourly until 1:30 a.m. and beginning again at 5:00 a.m. I am still freaked out and way overly concerned! I don't know when I will calm down.