Less than Perfect!

As my profile notes, I am striving for impossibility. I am reminded of it frequently, but not often like I have been over the past two weeks. Unfortunately, the bullying incident that took place last week (I posted last Friday about it), has taken quite a toll on my. I told a co-worker that I was broken. And it is try. I spent an hour on the phone with my co-worker last night, from 4-5 p.m. on my oldest son's birthday! When the phone mysteriously dropped the call I started cooking dinner. Our children get exactly what they want for dinner on their birthday. My son chose hot dogs and his favorite fries , "Crispers". However, when I went to pull the fries from the freezer to prepare them, I noticed that there were no Crispers! At this point, I had to put the four kiddos in the car to drive to the grocery store all the while trying to get my co-worker back on the phone. I never got her back, probably a good thing. Unfortunately, they did not have Crispers at this store, so I frantically phoned my husband who saved the day by picking them up at another store. However, when I arrived home and prepared the rest of the birthday dinner, I realized that I didn't have a number nine candle. As I said, he is the oldest so when his birthday rolls around I have to buy that number. I re-use the candles for the rest of the gang. Bless his heart, when I put the nine candles on the cake he said "You can put the number nine in the middle". I of course told him I didn't have it and he was perfectly fine with it. He and I are cut from the same mold so he gets it all. He sees my worry, which kills me! He knows I can't let it go, because he can't and he cuts me some slack because I think he is wiser than his years and recognizes when I need his support! I promised him that I would have a number nine on his family birthday cake this weekend! And I will. My daughter's birthday is today. She turns 7. I have that number and she chose baked mac and cheese! It is her favorite recipe that I cook. I have all the ingredients. I planned to make it this week anyway. They were on my original grocery list. The one I made before I realized that I needed birthday meals for my kids. Because these two weeks, I have been "getting by". It is the best I can do. I have become very aware of my imperfections. My friend noted on Facebook the other day that her daughter, who is in my daughter's class was not looking at the camera in the class picture. I thought it was weird that we didn't get one. And then I realized that I had never ordered one and I never even saw a order form. How did I miss that? And I have two kids at that school. Thankfully, my daughter's teacher is amazing and within 15 minutes if my emailing her she responded to say that luckily they provide each teacher with extra which can be purchased for $11. I sent two checks in backpacks this morning. I had to of course explain to the kids this morning what I had done and that I would scan someone's picture who we knew into the computer and I would print the picture myself for them. They were o.k. with that. But, it is just another reminder to them that I am human and that humans let each other down. Why do I let my kids down? Because I can? Because I can't do any better than what I am doing now? Because I have too much on my plate? (That is my daughters favorite, she just doesn't get what it means when I try to explain it to her.) Or is it because I am human? I hope it is the later and that I can do better next time. I tell me kids that all the time. I will try harder. I will be on the computer less. I will not yell as much. But, I guess that is part of life, recognizing our imperfections and striving for better. Maybe my profile should be striving to be better, not perfect which is the impossible! Hmm...