Getting Older...

I have learned a lot of things over the past year or 10 months really.  Since my "incident" at work last winter, I have evaluated and re-evaluated things in my life.  Things that it seems like I can change and things it seems like I can't change.  I have not made many changes, but I have learned a lot of life lessons.  One of those life lessons is that it is difficult to get older.  My body just isn't what it used to be.  My body is starting to let me down.  First, it was my knee.  I never thought when I have my surgery in July that the surgeon would not have been able to repair it.  It is so frustrating more than anything to go to PT three days a week and see other people in there, older than myself with far less damage in their knees and watch them walk and move and realize that in not so many years I will be worse off than that.  For someone as active as myself, I scares me to think of what I will become.  It scares me to think that at 36 I need a new knee.  How will I be at 56?  When I still want to ski?  I gave up running after my half marathon (5/10) and I drove up behind a car with a magnet that said "Marathon Ho" and I cried.  I knew it was coming, building for days.  But, it set me off.  The thought of never getting on another starting line, of never fulfilling one of my goals of running a marathon.  For someone who is a runner deep down in my sole it is devastating.  As it sit here, with my knee sore and stiff I think to myself how long will it be before I can't take the pain anymore.   How quickly will it deteriorate?  Is it worse now that I had this surgery?  Should I have gone through it in the first place?  Why didn't I do the surgery long ago?  So many questions...

It's been a week...

It has been a week since I last posted and a crazy week it has been!  After blogging last week, I stepped out to get the kids on the bus to find out a high profile football player from our local high school had passed away early that morning.  He had received a concussion in Friday's game and his father found him unconscious on Sunday morning.  So sad for a promising young high school senior!  Not to mention he was the son of our districts school board member.  The family is well respected in the community and it will be a long time before our community is done grieving.  Then I find out that another high school student has died, this one in the area in which I work.  Apparently, he had been drinking and while walking was struck but a motor vehicle.  Now that I am writing these words, I think I have already written them here.  I knew this child had been hit before I left for work, but had not learned that he had passed.  The weather here was crazy all week and ESPN ended up being sick three days last week putting me pretty far behind at work!  UGH!!!  So here's to this week, hoping it is less crazy and that maybe, just maybe I can blog at least twice!