As I get older, I find myself thinking a lot more about my childhood. Maybe it also has to do with the memories I want to creat for my children. I have fond memories of my childhood and many of them involve extended family. As time goes on I have come to realize jsut how short a lifetime is. I never imagined my life without my grandparents. One of my grandfathers passed away when I was 2 and I do not remember him. Another grandparent passed away when I was 25. I of course have fodn memories of her. Even in her later years when she was ill, I have memories of the funny things she would say and just spending time with her especially after I met my husband. She always remembered him, even if she did not remember me. My other two grandparents are still alive and in the mid-ninties. My grandmother has been in a nursing home for several years now and she just seems to be holding her own. She does not remember anyone and she just seems to exist. This is certainly not how I remember he and not how I want to. But, it is the now! When I lasted visited her, I saw her DNR bracelet. My initial reaction was sorrow. I was so sad to see that on her wrist, but then in talking to her, I realized that she is old and her mind has worn out before her body and she is just waiting for her body to wear out. My grandfather on the other hand lived alone until just this past fall. He moved to an apartment in a complex where his daily meals were prepared and there was someone to look in on him from time to time. Activities were available and he enjoyed this facility. Unfortunately, a week and a half ago he fell and broke his hip. My concern is that he seems to be going down hill rather quickly. I feel the need to visit him because I am not sure how much longer he will be around. However, my fear s that I will not see m "grandfather" but some man I have never met. He has changed a lot since my grandmother passed away, but every once in a while I see him again. I never thought this strong man could be broken down into what he has become. I know he hates this a we all do. But, time marches on. It makes me fear for my parents and myself and ultimately my kids. I think that my children will go through this all too soon with my parents and then with me. So my hope is that I can make memories for my kids that will last their lifetime. And that I make the most of everyday!
Sugar Cookie Dough 2 C. Flour 1/4 tsp. Salt 3/4 C. Butter at room temperature 1 C. Sugar 1 Egg 1 tsp. Vanilla
Mix flour and salt and set aside. In a separate bowl, beat butter and sugar until fluffy. Beat in egg and vanilla until blended. Gradually stir in flour mixture well blended. Flatten dough. Wrap and refrigerate until firm enough to roll (2 hr.) Heat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease cookie sheet. Four surface, roll dough to 1/4 in. thickness. Cut hearts with floured 3 inch heart shaped cookie cutter. Place 1 in. apart on cookie sheet. Chill and re-roll scrapes. Bake 8-10 minutes. Cool 2 minutes on cookie sheet, then move to wire rack.
Beat sugar and milk in bowl with mixer until smooth and glossy (2 min.) Divide into 4 small bowls. Add 1 drop food coloring to icing. Cover icing when not in use. Place 1 tsp. icing in center of cookie and spread to 1/4 in. of edge.
So, in the grand tradition of my over-extending myself, I have once again proved to accomplish just that. Yesterday began the Valentine Celebrations for my children. Our middle son, had his preschool Pancake and PJ Party. This is a tradition at his preschool. All of our other children have done this. Since I can't volunteer to come in, I always send in something they need. Since I am cheap and I already had pancake mix, I volunteered to provide the class with 10 thin pancakes. The kids had to eat breakfast yesterday anyway, so I figured it was only a few extra minutes. It proved easy enough and the baby enjoyed pancakes since he no longer wants to be fed by someone else (but that is another post). I had a late meeting yesterday so my husband, God love him offers to make Snickerdoodles because our oldest child requested I send them in for his class party. I volunteered to send in cookies. I have this great sugar cookie recipe my mom gave me. I loved these cookies as a child. Our whole family loves them and when I make them it brings me back! But, our oldest requested Snickerdoodles. And I love him. So at 6:30 I started making Snickerdoodles. I finished at 9:45. Luckily Survivor was on (DVR)! And now, today I will volunteer at my daughter's class party. It will be great! I am leaving in just a bit to go over there. I can't wait! And even though, I have once again over-extended myself, I feel like my kids appreciate it even though they have no idea how close I was and am each time to not pulling it off. Somehow I pull it off each time. I am sure one of these days it will not happen and my plans will have to be changed. I will have to run to the grocery store late at night to purchase something I was supposed to cook. But, until that day I will continue to over-extend myself for the love of my children.
What is it about beautiful weather that makes me change my attitude? I love winter. But, it has been warm here this week. It has been nice getting the kids out of the house and playing like we do in the spring and fall. Yesterday my daughter went to a friend's house after school. I was home with the boys. They had to finish their valentines for their classes. It was so nice sitting there with them. They did such a good job. Then after 45 minutes of making valentines, we went outside. We played for about 30 minutes before having to go in to make dinner. My oldest had basketball so I had to have dinner on the table in time for him to leave. He begged me to stay out and play, but I had to cook. I am big into having a meal on the table and eating as a family no matter what. So we went in. The rest of the evening was complete joy, making valentines with my daughter and giving the kids a bath. Everyone was so well behaved. It was really nice. I didn't get frustrated and had a lovely evening!
I am so tired. It is finally all catching up to me. I way over-extend myself. It drives my husband crazy. The other night I told him I was giving up Spirit Night Chairperson for the PTO and I think he almost fell off the couch. He was so happy. I am currently room mom for one of our children. It took restraint for me not to volunteer to be the room mom for our oldest child. I am the spirit night chairperson, and volunteer coordinator for the PTO. I am the VBS Director at church. I am a team leader at work and on top of all of those things, I try to be super mom. Unfortunately, I feel that I often do not spend enough time with my kids. I mean really spend time with them. I am in the room with them, but I just sit and watch them. I feel I shouldplay more with them and organize more activities. I am currently working on a Valentine's Day project with the older two. We are making heart shaped crayon cookies as valentines for their classes. I need a total of 55. I currently have 36. Not bad with a week to go. Then we have to assemble them. My sister challenged me to let one holiday go by and not make anything. I can't do it. It is not in me. However, what is, is the desire to spend more quality time with my kids. The St. Jude radiothon was on today. It just kills me to think about those kids and their parents. And, you never know. I don't ever want to look back and regret anything with my kids. So today, I am making a change that I am holding myself accountable for. I am going to do this. It will make a difference in my life and the life of each of my kids.